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Feelings about life.

Basically, this:

Hope that works- I've never tried to embed video before...

Life is always hard. But at least the scenery is interesting...

Thursday v. Friday afternoon

The basic emotion:

Thursday afternoon's thought bubble:

"I can't do advanced calculus and I need a fifth letter of rec and what if I don't get in to molecular bio next semester and I need to finalize my summer plans and I'm on too many medications and what if I'm an alcoholic and all the racist reporting on the recent events in Mali is pissing me off and I'm going to be alone on Easter and why is vivisection such a large part of the bio 228 curriculum and I can't get my MCAT physical sciences score above a 9 and are they really going to make me be aikido club president next year and I think my fish is nearing the end of his lifespan."

Friday afternoon's thought bubble:

"Should I eat lentils or black beans for lunch?"

Gotta love the weekends...


MCAT in 31 days, 12 hours, 45 minutes.

Back to Real School!

The feeling you get when a problem that you lost hours of sleep over gets resolved in an unexpected way before 10:52 the next morning= beyond compare.

The feeling you get when a whole bunch of other stressful problems get resolved by you working your butt off and being persuasive and having so many conversations with people you don't know= also pretty good.

The feeling you get when, no matter what you try, you cannot get the fucking shower on your hall to work despite your neighbors obviously having no problem with it= sucks.

I'd forgotten how many more emotional highs and lows there are at Vassar than there are at home. I'm not entirely sure that I'm ready to deal with them yet, but at least I can appreciate life being more interesting!

(vague post is vague)

First World Problems.

I think this is the silliest one I've had in a while:

"Ugh, I hate how my stupid doctor had to use her stupid advanced diagnostic equipment to identify this illness. How am I going to last five whole days without drinking while I take these cheap and effective pills? I wish I was still in Mali where people just got sick and didn't take medicine."

...I'm a little concerned about my inner self right now. Who the hell even thinks that? Well, at least it seems that the reverse culture shock is beginning to wear off...

New year. Same old stupid.

A day or two ago, a man named Robert King sent me an email. That's okay. He's some aikido-affiliated person, so I'm happy to read anything he has to say, even if it's about fun-sounding events that I can't go to. I do, however, sincerely wish that he was called something else. Because now every time I check my inbox, I see his name out of the corner of my eye, think it says Robot King, and then experience an intense wave of disappointment when I realize my mistake.

So... new year's resolution: learn how to read. And... accept that, in the reality I currently inhabit, robot kings will never email me. I think I can handle that!

Christmas and Life Lessons

My Christmas was nice. It was everything that I had been anticipating earlier, back when I was still boiling in the Malian sun and the approaching holiday season kind of seemed like an illusion. I got to see my family. I got to eat many slices of pumpkin pie and countless cookies. I got to dress my dog up like a reindeer and take silly pictures of him. It was a good, good day.

I have to admit, though, my favorite Christmas memory this year was of me, my little sister, and two of our cousins all squeezing into a twin-sized bed and watching horror movies late into the night. It was interesting. I'm not a huge baby over scary movies, but I'm not really immune to them either. I will occasionally gasp or flinch if something particularly creepy happens. Even if I don't, they stress me out and I don't like them. But on Christmas night, for whatever reason, they seemed quite tolerable. Almost pleasant, even. I think that we were on to something with the whole "having four people lie on top of each other in a one-person sized space" thing: it's hard to be scared when you're (squished and can't breathe and) in a pile of people that you love.

These conditions will probably never be replicated again, but they were nice while they lasted.

In any case, happy remainder of holidays!

Pictures of Cats.

So yeah. It's been more than three months since I've posted anything. One month for finals, one month for recovering from finals (in which I quite literally could not type more than a sentence at a time without having horrible, sweating flashbacks about library basements and quiet despair and poor dietary decisions), and then one month of recovering from the unwanted laziness that the legitimate recovery period had caused. Its strange how many things I've been able to accomplish this summer without having needed to actually write something. You'd think that I'd at least need to type things up for my summer class, but nope. Not even a lab report yet. It's kinda nice.

That paragraph there just took a lot of effort. So I'll switch to a disorganized jumble of visual material and annotations now. If I'm lucky, that'll suffice to carve out a vague shape of what I've been caring about recently.
Cat pictures in the lead!Collapse )

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